1. |
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Baby baby, I wanna baby woman tonight!
I said a baby, I wanna make you feel just right,
So c'mon baby woman tonight!
Don't wanna love ya (just wanna LOVE ya)
Baby woman, c'mon and let's do it tonight!
I said a woman, are you sure you wanna do this tonight?
'Cause if you've got something better to do,
I guess I could go play Magic (tm) or something...
I hope I'm doin' this just right,
'cause we're gonna doin' this all night.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
So c'mon baby woman tonight!
(motherfuckin' solo)
Come on and do it with me!
Tonight! All night! Tonight! All right, yeah! Tonight! Tonight! Tonight!
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2. |
I Wanna
03:38
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I wanna be your front door man, in a back door way!
Wanna have my way with you, then have another beer!
Wanna sing this song just about as well as you could!
Wanna drink a thousand steaks, then eat a thousand beers!
Wanna see the whole world burn with a scotch in my hand!
Just gotta believe that everything will turn out fine, and I can never die!
Wanna be that sexy chick in a magazine!
Wanna play this goddamn guitar into the pages of history!
I said I wanna, I said I wanna.
Wanna see how far I can ride this wave, before I crash into a shark!
Wanna choke on vomit, bite the head off a bat, and start this place on fire!
Wanna lose my license and drive a Maserati(tm) at 185!
I said if I can't be a rock n' roll star, then at least I'll burn out bright, yeah!
Do you wanna come go crazy with me?
Do you wanna see inside of my brain?
Do you wanna see me going insane?
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3. |
Better Than Bacon
04:03
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When I first saw you from across the yard,
I knew you were the one.
With a walk, and a wink, and a way about you that said,
"Let's have some fun!"
I never thought in a million years,
I'd have to choose between my gut and my soul.
But she's a double-barreled spitfire temptress from hell!
And she's the only woman I've ever known.
She's better than beer,
She's better than weekends,
I'm gonna say it and you'll believe it,
She's better than bacon!
Now I know what you're saying, "Nothing's better than bacon!"
And with that, I would normally agree.
But you've gotta believe me, you'll never find a meat
that will love you unconditionally.
I never thought in a million years,
I'd be saying what no honest man should.
But you've gotta understand, the woman makes me a man,
And in a way that no salted meat could!
She's better than whisky,
She's better than a barbecue,
She's better than me, and you'd better believe,
The girl's better than you!
Well I can't eat her (but I certainly enjoy her).
She's better than bacon, better than bacon!
She's better than beer, the girl's better than bacon!
She's better than whisky,
She's better than a barbecue,
She's better than me, and you'd better believe,
The girl's better than you,
She's better than beer,
She's better than weekends,
I'm gonna say it and you'll believe it,
The girl's better than bacon.
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4. |
Whisky
03:37
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My little $12 genie, in a bottle bearing another man's name.
My only wish is to drown in your love,
Just to live through another day.
You make me love you, you make me love me.
I want you in me, don't want nobody else but whisky!
Oh whisky.
I wanna dive into you, and haze the third eye.
I wanna lie into you, and find myself alive.
I'd rather die with you, than have to live with me.
I can't stop myself, so I'll help myself to another bottle of whisky!
Blurring the lines between right and what's wrong.
Blurring the lines between the lanes.
Oh whisky, I want you in me.
I want you out of my life.
Oh whisky, I want you in me.
I want you out of my veins,
So I'm okay to drive!
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5. |
Bloody Mary
04:41
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Kill me, kill me now.
I've got the brown bottle flu.
Slow death. Can't move.
I'm incoherently unhappy.
Oh Bloody Mary, you are my Sunday morning savior.
Preach to me your celery salt sermon.
'Cause Bloody Mary, you wash away my liquid sins,
Won't you cleanse me in your Vodka baptismal ritual,
And make me born again?
Oh Bloody Mary, you are my Monday morning savior.
Preach to me your Tabasco(tm) love, yeah.
'Cause Bloody Mary, you fill me up with liquid hope,
And without you I'd be naked and lost,
Talking to god on the great white telephone.
Ohhhh... Ungh... Ohhhhh.. Whooa!
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6. |
Where's the Blood?
03:14
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God damn, I went and overdid it tonight!
Picked you up, drove you home, baby it was gonna be just right.
I rubbed you down, and turned up the heat,
A picture-perfect blend of blood, fat, bone, and meat,
Hot, tender, and thick, sizzlin' sweet, so excited to eat,
Oh shit!
The world's spinning, day is turning to night...
Where's the feeling?
Where's the flavor?
Where's the blood?
Ooh, whoa, where's the blood?
God damn, I (something something catchy)
When I came to, I was a little confused, but I knew something was wrong...
God fucking dammit, piece of shit! I fucking left you alone for too long!
And now you're gone...
Where's the blood?
Ooh, whoa, where's the blood?
I should've paid more attention,
I guess I learned my lesson.
In the heat for too long, that's how it all went wrong.
I shouldn't have drank that rum,
Fell asleep, woke up, and it's done.
Now it's hard, and it's stinky, and I wouldn't feed it to my dog!
God damn, I'll never overdo it again!
Always remember, if you want the flavor,
You want the blood!
God damn, never ever gonna do it again!
Always remember, if you want the flavor,
You want the blood!
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7. |
Potatoes N' Pie!
02:55
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Give me my potatoes, potatoes n' pie!
It's hot, it's ready, and it fits just right!
I want my potatoes, potatoes n' pie!
Gotta work though the crust to get the flavor inside!
You keep your hot dish, I've got my wish!
Gonna sit down and eat this bitch!
Where are my potatoes, potatoes n' pie? (what?)
Said it's hot, it's ready, and it fits just right! (c'mon!)
Hey, there's my potatoes, potatoes n' pie! (what's a potatoes n' pie?)
Said I work all day, so I can feed all night!
So sultry, so sweet, all it's missing is my sausage meat!
That's kind of gross.
And kind of sexy.
Go woman.
So shake your fist in the air!
Pretend you like this song!
I know I do!
Shake yo dick!
Potatoes n' pie, you're the taste of my dreams!
You were put on this earth just to satisfy me!
Woman!
Get out of my potatoes, potatoes n' pie!
Well it's done, and it's gone... please don't watch me cry!
Yeah!
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8. |
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So I was supposed to write some lyrics for this song here.
But instead, I got sidetracked, and kind of got drunk.
So I'll sing something here.
I'll sing something here too!
But that's okay, 'cause let's drink and eat food,
'Cause it's a goddamn mother fucking goddamn barbecue!
It's a barbecue!
Holy shit! It's another verse, that I also didn't write any lyrics for!
Everyone get excited, and let's clap our hands!
God help me, where's the solo?
I should probably stop.
But unfortunately, for both you and me,
This song's got another few minutes left.
Here's the bridge.
Here comes the cool solo part.
Barbecue!
Barbecue!
Barbecue!
Fuckin' barbecue! Yeah!
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